Laugh, Think, Cry

Another New Year! Cliche but true, "Tempus Fugit, Time Flies"!! Here I am yet another year in Fargo. Three years back, who knew!!?!, there even existed a Dakota?? and today I am enlightened to know there are three "freezing" Fargos and I inhabit the coldest one! Can't believe it!! it's 22 C below the freezing point! A thin layer of frost has cut me off from the world outside, I can't see the TV tower today and I can't see the blue sky! I can't see a thing!! Perhaps NO!! that's not quite true, I do see an enchanting piece of art instead, something no artist can ever create. The patterned frost on the window pane is like those beautiful geometrical patterns we can see through a kaleidoscope.

Kaleidoscope - artistry of reflections. Reminds me of the first and the last edition of the college magazine we launched during 'Mansara'. We named it Kaleidoscope, to symbolize the many different phases of our college days. The amusing part was, that there were two editors but no articles to edit! Dri and I had to desperately beg for contributions! Finally, it did get published at the 11th hour, and was even blessed with a controversial write-up:))) (that's an interesting story I'll save for another day!

Mansara, the annual college fest was the idea of some of the bright ones of our very active BARCH batch. It started as a playful suggestion but soon became a goal for the Archinoids, we called our batch!! The 48 hours preceding Mansara were one of the unforgettable episodes of my life! The magazine had to be printed, the stage had to be set, the programs had to be finalized, invitations had to be sent, and a long never-ending list of the eleventh-hour to-dos!  The decoration, the music, the stalls, the excitement, the tension, the adrenaline surge, we were going bonkers! The crazy 48 hours passed and it happened! A blast it was:) I call it a REAL success! The names have changed, and the faces are different, but the spirit of Mansara lives on to this day! (touch wood!:)

College was "all play and no work":), So JAK never became a dull boy! Yes! I simply played through the five years of BARCH. There are many funny/ sad/ emotional/ unemotional stories from the good old 'Happy days' (that Telugu movie did touch the nostalgic nerve). Here's one of them..!!!

Building Sciences class was in session. A boring topic, a boring course, and a hungry us! I was trying hard to keep myself entertained to survive one of the longest hours of my life! Maddy was perched (metaphorically) next to me (birds of the same feather flock together after all) and was the poor victim of my boredom. The Prof. said Fredrick Olmstead I read fried rice omelet. He said Ghery, I read Cherry, he said Vander Rohe, I read Vindaloo. Words kept unscrambling and I whispered them out to my equally bored neighbour. Maddy started giggling and I caught on to the contagious giggle. I have a unique condition (well not as bad as the pseudobulbar effect but still a condition, perhaps!) If I start laughing or crying, I mean, if I REALLY start laughing or crying, there's no stopping. Hence, starting a giggle can be disastrous! I faced the consequences once back in school, I had to, really had to, hold on for another 30 minutes but before I could stop the tickle on my funny bone, I saw what I shouldn't have :( The absolutely rotund structure of the Prof. His head was as round as the remaining him (no offense meant but I was hungry, bored, and giggly:) He reminded me of a vegetable, I had rather not name, so as not to sound too offensive and disrespectful (I guess it was merely a matter of the moment - I could have laughed my heart out at the driest of jokes), and the next thing I did impulsively or instinctively or just foolishly was to run out of the class! The lecture room was small, and there was only one way out. The way right under his nose. Out in the corridor, I finally felt at ease. Suppressing a burst of laughter can be quite stressful!!:) I laughed and laughed and laughed. Quite meaninglessly too! A second later Maddy joined me, and we both continued with the laughing spree. The bell rang for recess! We were still laughing. The Prof. passed by us, stopping for a second, and gave a confused, annoyed,  sorry look but we continued laughing as if nothing ever mattered more.

The school episode was during an English literature class. Mrs. P was the teacher, and she was taking a class on Julius Casar, the play by Shakespeare. Act 111 scene 1 - The Ides of March..44 BC. The Roman Senate was about to witness history being created.

And in xxxx AD, two bubbly creatures, sitting in the last row of the class discussing last night's movie quite as seriously, "Ghost" to be precise. Mrs. P is unaware of the two mischievous imps. continues with her lecture. Caesar arrives at the Senate. Cassius, Casca, and Brutus are anxiously waiting to strike the dictator.

The two are still discussing Demi Moore, Patrick Swayze, and "Goldie Whoopberg". Casca is about to strike. One of the two says, "You know Goldie Whoopberg is called whoopie sometimes" The conspirators strike the unsuspecting target. The other nodded in consent yes Goldie Whoopberg is sometimes called Whoopie. Brutus makes the final stab, and the two look at each other, and smile. They realized, there's no Goldie Whoopberg.. She is Whoopie Goldberg and is always called Whoopie:)).

Caesar looks at Brutus and says "Et tu Brute, then fall Caesar" and the two burst into laughter. Mrs. P is literally scandalized perhaps even more than Caesar was when he saw Brutus stab him, she immediately asked the two to leave the class.

And the two shamelessly kept laughing in the corridor while the entire teaching staff kept wondering what was so funny about Caesar's assassination:)) So that was Me and Bee and it amazes me too, how a silly spoonerism and Caesar's murder can trigger a hilarious moment!

I guess this is becoming an anecdotal blog.:) I am suddenly flooded with memories from school. Loreto was quite similar to those Enid Blyton Schools we used to read about in junior classes. Not to mention St. Claires and Malory Towers. The red brick building, green windows, secret passage, ponds, bridges, gardens, fields, the junior school park, the sister's cemetery, the piano parlor, the tiny tuck shop, Charlie the skeleton, Bruno and Cindy the huge Alsatians, exactly out of a storybook. Reminiscing about school days always gets me a little nostalgic. Those were the real wonder years. Sometimes I feel, the clock should have stopped 15 years ago :) Not that the after-school life was bad:). Things changed, interests changed, life changed, and it's been a continuous process since.

Well, life's that kaleidoscope that Brewster accidentally invented. It's not just the reflection in the mirrors but the reflection of myriad memories. Those tiny colorful glass pieces, those ephemeral moments. Yes! A twist and a turn, and the pattern changes but whether a smile, whether a tear, whether the past, whether the present, what touches the soul is flawlessly beautiful. The patterns in the kaleidoscope are beautiful, the frost on the window is beautiful and all those thousands of memories are beautiful, and they all make it worth living for!

Jim Valvano, an American Basketball coach once said, 'There are three things one should do every day, Laugh, think, and Cry'And I couldn't agree more or less. At the end of our journey, we will realize that every single day of our life was worthwhile because when we laughed we made another laugh with us, when we thought, we left an idea behind, when we cried, we touched a soul.

Halloween, Floccinaucinihilipilification, and the Big Bang!

No! There's absolutely nothing in common between Halloween, floccinaucinihilipilification, and the Big Bang. It's Halloween today (the post was written on Halloween a few many years back)! Therefore, "the Halloween" and well I definitely do not intend to spend the next few precious minutes writing about the significance of the insignificant meaning of the longest word in the English dictionary! I meant to use it merely to describe my current state of mind, "The state of nothingness" and as I wrote, I realized, "valueless" has nothing to do with "nothingness". Perhaps a "black hole" is closer to the definition. Yes! 'A black hole' - an infinite mass of "nothing". A space scientist might sue me for using the word "nothing"! but for the sake of preserving my sanity, I would like to assume that it is indeed "nothing".

Isn't it sometimes just easier to overlook the details and realities of the complexities of life? No! I am not telling be an ostrich and duck your head down into the sand. It's just a thought! isn't it possible to understand the Big Bang theory without losing your head? Just overlook a few atoms and protons and it's much simpler.

I think about the man who created the word "floccinaucinihilipilification" Why did he? How worthless can anything be that one has to use the meaning of "trifle" four times to describe it! The trifle cannot be trifler than as trifle as it is!! The easiest would have been to call it just trifle! A 29-letter word can do no better.

Perhaps more sensible was the man who started Halloween because of the abundant harvest of "Pumpkins"(as I like to think it is!). Of course, the other reason was that pumpkins made the best jack-o-lanterns and that Halloween had something to do with souls and saints but details apart it made things much easier to think that someone was creative enough to start a festival because he didn't know what he should do with all the pumpkins he grew!!

Well! The moral of the blog? "Black holes, Floccinaucinihilipilification, and Pumpkins have nothing in common. They are mere examples of things that seem "nothing" but have a deeper reason to be, of things that seem "bigger" but have no reason to be, of things that are nice to have though "insensible" and have no rhyme or reason to be:)

Seasons, Shaw, And Shakespeare

It's snowing! Has been the whole day. Usually, I can see the blue sky, and a lone tv tower from the only window in my office room. Today it's more white than blue, the flurries look like tufts of silky cotton, and each time they hit the window pane they disappear, much like the cotton candy melting into the mouth!

Well, this is reminding me of the good old school days, the big hockey field surrounded by tall silk cotton trees, and every summer, the field would turn white with the soft tufts of cotton hair. I used to gaze out of the window, amazed at the way the tufts danced into the fields as the soft breeze swept them off the trees, waiting impatiently for the recess bell, waiting to run out, waiting to pick those nature's treats. Life couldn't have been simpler, and more fun. All my little innocent mind could think of was, "Only! If only the recess could last a day long"

I love snow. I love it anytime. In the morning when it dazzles with white purity, in the afternoon when it looks golden in the blazing bright sun, and at night when it glitters like numerous tiny crystals! Snow enchants me!

In Arlington, it used to snow once a year. If lucky perhaps twice. I remember one particular day,  almost four years back, at about 5:00 am in the morning, the phone rang! I tried to ignore it and tucked my ears under two layers of pillows but the phone kept ringing. Finally, I decided to get up from the bed, cursed graham bell for his invention, and walked to the phone. But by the time I reached the torture machine, the call had ended and a light blinked indicating a message had been left. I clicked the message tab and walked towards the window. I wanted to see the sunrise. Not many times had I taken the opportunity to admire the beauty of the rising sun. As I pulled the curtain, I heard the rustling sound of the wind. I looked out it was snowing. The white showers looked beautiful, and the sound came from the telephone. I realized it was the message. A prank at 5 am wasn't quite amusing. Perhaps a wrong call or perhaps, some well-wisher wanted to say, "Don't sleep out a beautiful day". well, I'll never know but yes if not for the call, I would have missed this beauty. At that moment the mind of mine thought, "Only! If only I can see this dawn every day"

Rain! I like it sometimes, I hate it sometimes. I like it when I am cozily sitting at home tucked inside a warm comforter, sipping hot chocolate, while watching Rock Hudson wooing Gina Lollobrigida. I hate it when I am in an unknown place, scared cold, and lost. The day when I first arrived in Fargo, it was raining heavily at 4:00 am in the morning. There was not a soul that I knew. A little scared, kind of cold, and very lost. oh! how I hated the rain that day! The station master had helped me carry my two huge bags into the tiny Fargo station cabin. It was just me, him, and his twin brother. I thought so because both were huge rolly polly kind-looking grandpa-ish men. while I sat there wondering what or where should I go, a man hurried into the cabin. He was a cab driver. He said, "I got a call for a passenger". the two men immediately looked at me. Well, can't blame them for the assumption - I was the only other living creature in that room. I shook my head, to express, 'No' it wasn't me but sure enough I did need a cab. Not finding the caller, the cab driver agreed to give me a ride. he took me to NDSU, dropped me there, and hurriedly disappeared just as he had come. He left without even taking the cab fare. Perhaps he was in a hurry! Heaven knows! It was strange, and I was tired. At that time all my tired mind could question, "Was Fargo the right decision?!"

I guess, Fargo was yet another impulsive decision like many others I made in the past. Kind of an escape from facing realities that I didn't want to accept. Happens! Sometimes life takes a course we reject but in time when things fall into place, we realize if things didn't happen the way they happened, it might have been a greater disaster! The biggest realization is that we can escape places, escape people, escape things, escape talks but it's hard to escape from ourselves. it's a seemingly tough job to escape our own mind. The only escape is to remove the darn memory bank called the cerebrum. Shakespeare was so right in The twelfth night, "In nature, there's no blemish but the mind".

Yes! as the days pass, as the seasons change

As the fleeting time adds another year to my age

I think about the carefree summer at the cotton field

The simple life a child could wield

 

The snow, I saw and sighed upon

There were dreams, no time for dawns

 

That rainy night, those weakened nerves

The road sometimes has its curves

 

Yes! As the seasons change, and the days pass on

There are shares of curves, shaky nerves, there are beautiful dawns in moments gone

There are rains there are snows

There are highs and there are lows!

As Shaw said
"Life isn't about finding urself - Life is about creating yourself"

"Life is about the changing seasons, the simple desires, the difficult choices and the unanswerable questions!"

The Burden On Democracy

A couple years back, I had to make a tough decision: 'Casting a vote'. It was my first and a huge responsibility, which I couldn't afford to go wrong about. The confusion was - should I vote for the party or the idealism it advocates or for the representative? Somewhere there was a dissonance. I couldn't put them all in one correct box. I have a habit of arranging things and putting them in order, whether it's filed in the email inbox my closet, or the thought process. Here I couldn't fit them in one place.

Should I cast my vote then?

I should! every single vote counts!! It's a question of a nation's fate. I should cast my vote.

But to whom? the better or the worse? does it solve the problem? will it help?

How do 'I' as an ordinary speck in the universe, make a very important contribution that should not fail? There is no guarantee. Once in power, all virtues and morals take a back seat. History may repeat. If I pick the wrong candidate can I forgive myself? I am the common man. I do not understand politics well. I do not speak the intellectual language. I do not understand political complexities. Can I do justice?

Do I even count?

Every citizen counts. That's democracy.  Unfortunately, democracy has been misused, misrepresented, and misdirected.