Monday, May 29, 2023

Seasons, Shaw, And Shakespeare

It's snowing! Has been the whole day. Usually, I can see the blue sky, and a lone tv tower from the only window in my office room. Today it's more white than blue, the flurries look like tufts of silky cotton, and each time they hit the window pane they disappear, much like the cotton candy melting into the mouth!

Well, this is reminding me of the good old school days, the big hockey field surrounded by tall silk cotton trees, and every summer, the field would turn white with the soft tufts of cotton hair. I used to gaze out of the window, amazed at the way the tufts danced into the fields as the soft breeze swept them off the trees, waiting impatiently for the recess bell, waiting to run out, waiting to pick those nature's treats. Life couldn't have been simpler, and more fun. All my little innocent mind could think of was, "Only! If only the recess could last a day long"

I love snow. I love it anytime. In the morning when it dazzles with white purity, in the afternoon when it looks golden in the blazing bright sun, and at night when it glitters like numerous tiny crystals! Snow enchants me!

In Arlington, it used to snow once a year. If lucky perhaps twice. I remember one particular day,  almost four years back, at about 5:00 am in the morning, the phone rang! I tried to ignore it and tucked my ears under two layers of pillows but the phone kept ringing. Finally, I decided to get up from the bed, cursed graham bell for his invention, and walked to the phone. But by the time I reached the torture machine, the call had ended and a light blinked indicating a message had been left. I clicked the message tab and walked towards the window. I wanted to see the sunrise. Not many times had I taken the opportunity to admire the beauty of the rising sun. As I pulled the curtain, I heard the rustling sound of the wind. I looked out it was snowing. The white showers looked beautiful, and the sound came from the telephone. I realized it was the message. A prank at 5 am wasn't quite amusing. Perhaps a wrong call or perhaps, some well-wisher wanted to say, "Don't sleep out a beautiful day". well, I'll never know but yes if not for the call, I would have missed this beauty. At that moment the mind of mine thought, "Only! If only I can see this dawn every day"

Rain! I like it sometimes, I hate it sometimes. I like it when I am cozily sitting at home tucked inside a warm comforter, sipping hot chocolate, while watching Rock Hudson wooing Gina Lollobrigida. I hate it when I am in an unknown place, scared cold, and lost. The day when I first arrived in Fargo, it was raining heavily at 4:00 am in the morning. There was not a soul that I knew. A little scared, kind of cold, and very lost. oh! how I hated the rain that day! The station master had helped me carry my two huge bags into the tiny Fargo station cabin. It was just me, him, and his twin brother. I thought so because both were huge rolly polly kind-looking grandpa-ish men. while I sat there wondering what or where should I go, a man hurried into the cabin. He was a cab driver. He said, "I got a call for a passenger". the two men immediately looked at me. Well, can't blame them for the assumption - I was the only other living creature in that room. I shook my head, to express, 'No' it wasn't me but sure enough I did need a cab. Not finding the caller, the cab driver agreed to give me a ride. he took me to NDSU, dropped me there, and hurriedly disappeared just as he had come. He left without even taking the cab fare. Perhaps he was in a hurry! Heaven knows! It was strange, and I was tired. At that time all my tired mind could question, "Was Fargo the right decision?!"

I guess, Fargo was yet another impulsive decision like many others I made in the past. Kind of an escape from facing realities that I didn't want to accept. Happens! Sometimes life takes a course we reject but in time when things fall into place, we realize if things didn't happen the way they happened, it might have been a greater disaster! The biggest realization is that we can escape places, escape people, escape things, escape talks but it's hard to escape from ourselves. it's a seemingly tough job to escape our own mind. The only escape is to remove the darn memory bank called the cerebrum. Shakespeare was so right in The twelfth night, 
"In nature, there's no blemish but the mind".

Yes! as the days pass, as the seasons change
As the fleeting time adds another year to my age
I think about the carefree summer at the cotton field
The simple life a child could wield

 

The snow, I saw and sighed upon
There were dreams, no time for dawns

 

That rainy night, those weakened nerves
The road sometimes has its curves

 

Yes! As the seasons change, and the days pass on
There are shares of curves, shaky nerves, there are beautiful dawns in moments gone
There are rains there are snows
There are highs and there are lows!

As Shaw said
"Life isn't about finding urself - Life is about creating yourself"
"Life is about the changing seasons, the simple desires, the difficult choices and the unanswerable questions!"

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