Sunday, July 3, 2022

BEEP


The silence of the still, starless, full moon night was occasionally interrupted by her deep snores and the eerie staccato calls of random nightjars. The 14-hour surgery had exhausted her physically and emotionally. Her patient had coded during the closing.  Walking out of the hospital, she had asked herself for the nth time, ‘Did I try enough? Each death on her operating table had left a heavy weight on her. She always blamed herself.

***


A vigorous push reluctantly awakened her from her near-unconscious state.  She could barely open her eyes. Being a surgeon had its advantages, she knew which medication worked best. So deep was her sleep that she was almost lifted up from the bed. The radium clock displayed 3:30 a.m. on its green dial. The living room appeared lit. As she shifted her languid gaze towards the bedroom door that opened into the living-dining lounge she noticed a shadow move. Must be the birds’, she wondered. Did I forget to switch off the light? Or is it the moonlight scattering in through the window?’ Before she could pull her thoughts together about the events post-dinner and pre-bed, her friend nudged her again.


‘What? Irked, she asked trying not to sound rude.

 

Do you think he is Maya?’ her friend replied in a spooky whisper alluding to a third person’s presence. ‘Who is Maya? And why the hell are you whispering? Annoyed, she asked in an indeliberate hushed tone. ‘Why am I whispering? The realization sent shivers down her spine. Maya didnt picture well in her imagination at that odd hour. Unconsciously, she whispered back in the same ghostly tone again, You are scaring me.’


‘Am petrified.’


Of what?


‘Can't you see?'


‘See what? Did you switch on the living room light? When did you come to my room?’


No! I didn’t! I think the Maya did!


Maya, the Indian word  for delusion  was a recendiscovery  after a short trip to the Himalayas  a  month  back.  The connotations  could  even be interpreted as paranormal.  The thought made her uncomfortable. Both friends were sitting on the bed in a daze when the phone beeped. ‘A message? Now? May be an emergency at the hospital, she reflected when a draft of a chill breeze brushed her skin sending fresh shivers through her body. She turned towards the window. It was shut. ‘How did the breeze….' 


Her friend interrupted her trance with a maffle, Check the message.


It was from him. She hadn’t met him in years. Almost a decade to be precise but he often sent her an email or a message describing in detail his many travel stories and adventurous escapades. She was told he was a travel journalist though there were times she questioned that information. Many a time they quarreled about his disappearing on her. He traveled to faraway lands yet he never took the time to meet her even once. Why? Why did he always ignore the mention of a meeting? His indifference had distanced her from him. She started keeping herself busy with work. With the many passing years, he became a distant memory that didn’t hurt anymore. Her thoughts trailed off to the last conversation they had when he was in her city ten years back. She had waited for him at the restaurant for four hours but he didn’t turn up.  He sent an apology bouquet a day after with a note that he would make up for it. She had been unusually calm that day. She had removed the engagement ring, kept it in a box, and stowed it deep inside a locker. She had promised herself she wouldn’t cry. She didn’t.


‘What did he write?’ her friend nudged. She turned her attention toward the message.


I am coming. He has written he is coming to see me, she smiled, surprising herself. She had perhaps, been unconsciously waiting for him for years. She could feel her cheeks warm up to an unexpected blush. She was about to reply to the message when she felt a searing pain up her wrist. Her friend had dug her nails into her hands. She was trembling unusually. Confused she tried to ask her what was bothering her when she heard the footsteps. The slow and steady footsteps were closing in from the living room.


‘There’s an intruder, her whisper got stuck in her throat.


Impossible! she tried to reason in her head, If someone broke in before we returned from the hospital, where was he hiding?’ It was a small 2 bedroom minimalist apartment with bare basics. There was no visibly obvious place to hide. Both friends spent most of their time at the hospital and returned together. It was unlikely a break-in before their return. ‘Did the intruder break in now?’ The high rise was not easy to access and she clearly remembered locking the front door. She slid her hand under the pillow. The key was still there.


The sound of the footsteps closed in furtherTerrified, they watched the shadow enter their room before it abruptly halted at the door. She made an attempt to ask, ‘Who?’ but the word whiffed out soundlessly. She pinched herself, Is it a nightmare?’ Her friend’s ice-cold grip that almost numbed her wrist reminded her again, that this was no nightmare but worse.


She wanted to get up, walk out and confront the intruder but she couldn’t. A strange fear had kept her bound. Helpless, she sat there glued to the bed. Even the shadow stood still as if waiting for permission to enter. Whoever or whatever it was, it was tall.  Very tall. Myriad questions flooded her mind. ‘What is he waiting for? Why isn’t he coming forward? ‘Why am I scared?’ It’s just a petty thief probably.’ She could hear her heartbeat. She could hear her friend’s heavy breathing. She could hear a dog whine somewhere far on the street.’ ‘Why is it freezing cold inside? Did someone turn down the thermostat?’ random haphazard thoughts were echoing in her mind. Her phone beeped again. She wanted to read the message but fear had her paralyzed.


Next instant, all of a sudden she gathered her perturbed self, stood up, and stammered in an incoherent whisper, Come on! Whoever that you are, do what you came to do. ‘Just do it. ‘Show up!’


The intruder stepped forward. She let out a loud piercing hysteric scream. Unbeknownst to her, her friend had passed out a while back.


***


When she opened her eyes, she was at the hospital, in the patient’s gown. She was on the drip and the nurse was staring at her curiously.

 

‘What happened to me?’ She asked. She could feel a throbbing pain in her head.

 

‘By God's grace, Doctor, you’ve opened your eyes. We almost gave up. You have been unconscious for the last 48 hours.


How did I reach here?


Your fian brought you in.'


Is he around? I want to speak to him?’


He left an hour back. He said he would return around 5:00.


‘Where is Anya?


‘She is on drips too. She has been strange ever since she regained her consciousness. She kept mumbling about a shadow. She was


‘Shadow brought back the memory of the other night. She choked.


Doctor, are you fine?’


Yes, I am. Please, send someone to get my phone from the apartment.’


Oh yes. Your fiancé left it here.


The nurse handed her the phone. That night’s last message was still unread. She clicked on it.

 

I was too late. Forgive me. Won't you?

 

The face of the intruder flashed in front of her. It was the patient. The patient she had failed to save. The mans face and body were burnt beyond recognition. He was one of the fifteen brought from the crash site. None had survived. They were army secret service officers on a mission. They were now a part of classified files locked up in some secret chamber. No one would ever know who they were, why they were, and where they finally rested. 

 

Tears gushed down her weary eyes. Tears she had refused to shed for years. She didn’t want to be brave anymore. There was a beep on the phone.


Kate, I didnt want to leave without meeting you but you were too frightened to. Shall meet you on the other side someday. Till then remember our times... Sean.


He watched her one last time, then disappeared into the unknown forever.


Saturday, July 2, 2022

The Burden On Democracy

A couple years back, I had to make a tough decision: 'Casting a vote'. It was my first and a huge responsibility, which I couldn't afford to go wrong about. The confusion was - should I vote for the party or the idealism it advocates or for the representative? Somewhere there was a dissonance. I couldn't put them all in one correct box. I have a habit of arranging things and putting them in order, whether it's filed in the email inbox my closet, or the thought process. Here I couldn't fit them in one place.

Should I cast my vote then?

I should! every single vote counts!! It's a question of a nation's fate. I should cast my vote.

But to whom? the better or the worse? does it solve the problem? will it help?

How do 'I' as an ordinary speck in the universe, make a very important contribution that should not fail? There is no guarantee. Once in power, all virtues and morals take a back seat. History may repeat. If I pick the wrong candidate can I forgive myself? I am the common man. I do not understand politics well. I do not speak the intellectual language. I do not understand political complexities. Can I do justice?

Do I even count?

Every citizen counts. That's democracy.  Unfortunately, democracy has been misused, misrepresented, and misdirected.

Thursday, June 30, 2022

The Spectacles


She had conveniently skipped her evening prep and was loitering around the corridor. It was one of those gratifying moments she loved to entertain herself with.  The old school building had many a secret passageway, where taking refuge from the strict eyes of the hostel warden was not a hard task. She was deep in thought about her next adventure when  Sister Letsnotnameher beckoned her.

‘Damn!, did I just get caught’?

‘Good evening sister, I was I am I mean ..actually...I wanted to …’  No! the crisis was grave! Her brain had phased out and no reasonably logical explanation seemed to make way. However, the saving grace, Sister Letsnotnameher was a gentle old lady, she might just buy even the lamest excuse or even a no-sense mumble. Praying that she did, our protagonist, began the prelude to her excuse (which she was still desperately trying to concoct) for not being where she was supposed to be. Sister Letsnotnameher was least interested in the creative extempore, hence, gently interrupted the happy wanderer's tale, 'Child could you bring my spectacles from the parlor, I can't see well enough without them’.

Oh! That was easy! Our relieved child scooted to the parlor, found the pair on the piano, and in a jiffy scooted back to hand them over to the owner but strange!! Sister L was nowhere in sight. She spent the next few minutes in search of the missing. An octogenarian without glasses couldn't have walked away in seconds.

Finally, confused and exhausted, she headed towards the dormitory, prep hour was over and she didn’t want to risk running into non-gentle beings ( the strict convent had an abundance of them). On the way back, she noticed that the lights, near the kindergarten playground, were on, which was unusual for this time of the day. Unmindful, she passed it off without deeper analysis. 

Back in the dorm, she heard the girls chatter louder than usual. The spectacles in hand she hollered at the crowd for attention, ‘Girls has anyone seen Sister Letsnotnameher anywhere? I met her near the chapel. She wanted her specs. they are here with me but I can’t seem to find her. Absolute silence followed for the next couple of minutes. Then one of her seemingly aghast confidantes broke the shocking news – Don’t you know?

What?

They just buried her a while back. That answered the lights at the cemetery next to the playground.

_________

Fictionalized but based on the real experience of Sanjukta C. She claims it happened. 

Posted on the rare occasion of Friday the 13th meets Bhoot Chaturdashi (The same was posted by me in my school blog)

Friday, October 6, 2017

The Dwadas ( Twelve ) Maha (Supreme) Jyotirlings (Divine Elements)

Honestly, am not quite religious but my inquisitiveness and curiosity to explore did take me to many religious places. I was quite curious about the 12 jyotirlingas and did manage to visit 8 of them.

     Google Earth locations of the 12 (+3) Maha Jyotirlingams

According to the Shiva Puranas, there were a total of 64 jyotirlingas. Jyotirlingas means the 'divine radiant elements'. Of these 64, 12 are considered the most auspicious, the Dwadas Maha Jyotirlingas. The Shiva Purana has a stotram (sacred hymn) that mentions the 12. However, there is confusion about a couple maha Jyotirlingas, and different sages have different interpretations (the three are marked in green while the rest are marked in yellow in the above image.

The Dwadasha Jyotirlinga Stotram 

Saurāṣṭre Somanāthaṃ ca Śrīśaile Mallikārjunam
Somnath in Saurashtra and Mallikarjuna in Srisailam 


1. SOMNATH: Lord of the Moon (Som - Moon; Nath - Lord)

Location: Prabhas Patan, Gujrat

Legend: It is said the Linga in Somnath was a levitating sculpture that was destroyed by Md. Gazni. The lingam was supposed to have been made of iron and a huge loadstone was fixed on the ceiling exactly above it which caused it to float. 


2. MALLIKARJUNA: The Lord in the form of white Jasmine entwined around Arjuna (Mallika - Jasmine flower; Arjuna - Arjun tree)

Location: Srisailam, Telangana

Intriguing fact: It is the only temple that is both a Shakti Peeth (seat of Shakti - Goddess is the main deity - The divine Feminine Principle)  and a Maha Jyotirling (seat of Radiant element - God is the main deity - The divine Masculine Principle).  It is considered one of the holiest and most powerful temples because of the influence of both Shakti and Shiv.

Ujjayinyāṃ Mahākālam Omkāram Mamleśhwaram
Mahakalam in Ujjain and Mamaleshwar in Omkar


3. MAHAKALESHWAR: The Lord of Destruction (Maha - Supreme; Kaal - end of time/death/destruction; Ishwar - Lord)

Location: Ujjain, Madhya Pradesh

Intriguing Fact: Bhasma Arti (Offering of light and ash) is performed at 4:00 am in the morning (the Brahma muhurta - which is the most auspicious time of the day as per Hindu scriptures. It starts at 1 1/2 hrs before sunrise and ends at 48 minutes before sunrise). Women were not allowed to participate in the ritual. The arti was performed with the ashes of a fresh pyre from crematoriums brought by Aghori sadhus. 



4 OMKARESHWAR and MAMLESHWAR: The Lord of OM and Lord of Lords ( Om - is a sound and symbol which denotes the universal consciousness; Ishwar - God; Mamleshwar - etymology unknown but the meaning is lord of the lords of the most powerful. I tried to look up the Sanskrit dictionaries and the closest I could get to is Mahabali or Mahamalla both mean supreme power.)

Location: Mandhata, Madhya Pradesh

Interesting fact: It's a twin temple complex and there are two lingams. Omkareshwar graces the northern bank of the Narmada river and Mamleshwar graces the southern bank of the river. Many people visit only Omkareshwar, the better-known of the two. However, the local legends say Mamleshwar, is the original swayambhu - the place where the divine radiating linga self-manifested on earth. All Maha Jyotirlingas are supposed to be swayambhu lingas.

Paralyam Vaidyanāthaṃ cha Ḍākinyāṃ Bhīmaśhaṅkaram
Vaidyanath at the crematory ground and Bhimshankara where the Dakinis reside

Vaijnath, Parli
Photo Sources: By J.M.Garg - Own work, CC BY 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=7185985

Baidyanath, Deogarh
By Ravishekharojha - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=46611855

Baijnath, Almora
By Pramod Rawal - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=72809119

5. VAIDYANATH: The Lord of medicines (Vaidya - Medicine; Nath - Lord)                                              
Location: Parli, Maharastra or Deoghar, Jharkhand  or Almora, Uttarakhand          

There are different versions and interpretations claiming the location of Maha Vaidyanath Jyotirlinga. I have not visited either of the three as yet. The photos of the three temples have been sourced from Wikipedia.

Photo source:https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bhimashankar.jpg

6. BHIMASHANKAR: The Formidable destroyer of evil (Bhim-Formidable; Shanka-Doubt/evil/wrong; Hara-Destroyer, defeater)

I am yet to visit Bhimshankar.

Interesting Fact: There is a Gupt (Hidden) Bhimshankar near the main temple, accessed through a forest trail. The Gupt linga is mostly submerged under the waters of a waterfall.

Location: Near Pune, Maharastra

Setubandhe tu Rāmeśaṃ Nāgeśhaṃ Dārukāvane
Rameshwar at the strait, Nageshwaram at Daruka forest

Photo source: By Ssriram mt - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=48384927

7. RAMESHWAR: The Lord of Rama (Lord Rama; Ishwar - Lord)

Location: Rameshwaram, Tamil  Nadu

Intriguing fact: There are 24 teerthams or holy sites where the devotees are advised to take a dip before entering the garbhagriha or sanctum. 2 of the holy sites are near the sea and 22 are ponds or wells inside the temple (these days many do not take a dip, buckets of water from the ponds/wells are poured over the devotees). However, it is not mandatory but a choice. There are legends related to each site and it is said the holy water of the teerthams can cure illness, and curses, and give wisdom and prosperity. 

Nageshwar, Dwarka

Aundha Nagnath

8. NAGESHWAR: The Lord of Nagas (Naag - Cobra/snakes)

Location: Dwarka, Gujrat or  Aundha, Maharastra or Almora, Uttarakhand

There are versions in old scriptures that suggest the temple at Dwarka is the main Lord of Nags Jyotirling while some texts suggest the one at Aundh is the main Jyotirling. While some believe the Almora temple is the main Nagnath Jyotirling. 

Well, I am no expert but I found the Nageshwar temple in Dwarka a relatively newer construction (as compared to the other shrines but it might have been so because of renovation. I have not visited the Almora one but those who believe Jageshwar in Almora is the actual jyotirlinga stress on the stortam mention the location as 'darukavanam', which may be interpreted as a forest of Deodar trees. 

The Nagnath temple in Aundh, however, has a very mystic feel. This place could have been a forest long back, though not a forest of deodars.


Intriguing Fact: There is a basement chamber in the temple, where the lingam is established. One has to climb down a narrow opening barely enough for a person to pass through to reach the chamber. Just a feeling inside, that this is the actual Maha Jyotirling. Can't speak for Jageshwat since I haven't visited the place yet.

Vārāṇasyāṃ tu Viśveśaṃ Tryambakaṃ Gautamītaṭe

Vishveshwara in Varanasi and Trimbakeshwara on the banks of Gautami (Gomati)



9. VISHWANATH: The Lord of the universe (Vishwa - Universe; Nath / Ishwar - Lord)

Location: Varanasi, Uttar Pradesh

Legend: It is said this temple is one of the three temples which is seated on the tip of Lord Shiva's trident. Thus making it a floating temple. The other two temples are Omkareshwar and Kedarnath temples.

Photo source: By Niraj Suryawanshi - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=29271240

10. TRIMBAKESHWAR: The trinity of three lords Bhrma, Vishnu, and Maheshwar. (Tri - Three; Bhakta - Portion; Ishwar - Lord)

Location: Nashik, Maharastra

I am yet to visit this Jyotirling. 

Interesting fact: There are three faces to the linga.

Himālaye tu Kedāraṃ Ghuśmeśaṃ ca Śivālaye
Kedarnath in the Himalayas and Grishmeshwar in Shivalaye

Photo source: By Shaq774 at en. Wikipedia - Transferred from en.Wikipedia Source at Wikipedia, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=4624438

11. KEDARNATH: The Lord of Kedar Khand (Kedara - Meadow; Nath - Lord)

Location: Kedarnath, Uttarakhand

I think this is the most beautiful and mystic of all the Jyotirlingas. I have not visited Rudraprayag as yet but its photographs mesmerize me and I can't wait to get there. 

Intriguing Fact: When the entire Kedarnath was destroyed and submerged under the catastrophic floods in 2013, the temple remained intact and the water did not enter it. A huge boulder rerouted the flood waters away from the temple. Many consider this a divine intervention.


12. GRISHNESHWAR: The Lord of compassion (Ghrsu - Lively, Mirthful; Ishwar - Lord)

Location: Aurangabad, Maharashtra

Interesting Fact: This is the smallest of the 12 Maha Jyotirlingas

etāni jyotirliṅgāni sāyaṃ prātaḥ paṭhennaraḥ

saptajanmakṛtaṃ pāpaṃ smaraṇena vinaśyati

eteśāṃ darśanādeva pātakaṃ naiva tiṣṭhati

karmakṣayo bhavettasya yasya tuṣṭo maheśvarāḥ    

"Those who recite this in the mornings and the evenings will be blessed by Maheshwar (Lord Shiva) and their sins of seven lives will be forgiven".    

An interesting fact to note is many of the Jyotirlingas were renovated by Ahilya Bai Holkar.